I have been in the ‘healing industry’ for nearly 30 years and my deepest desire has been to assist others to release their pain and depression! Little did I know that when I began this journey that the people I was helping were also helping me! And after a myriad of such sad stories over 3 decades I had become a little jaded and perplexed as to what was the driving force behind their pain and mine?
I now jump ahead to present day… my mother passed 18 months ago and even though it was expected,surprisingly the grief still tore at my heart and even my physical body.
At an early age I had convinced myself that we had nothing in common and I built a wall of protection around me based on self justifications that she did not understand me, that I have held my whole life within my psyche.
What I had not considered into my ‘wall of protection’ was the fact that in spite of all of our conflicts, we were not only flesh and blood,but we were also kindred spirits looking for the same experience called peace!
Her death was agonising for her, just as her life was. And she had no means of overcoming her frailties or her fears.Hopelessness was her guide and heartbreak her foundation in life.
Through my own life I had fought daily not to inherit such dysfunctions and hence became a workaholic, so I did not have time to face my mother’s painful reflection of myself!.
However life has a funny way of creeping up on you!
I visited her grave only yesterday and was suddenly hurtled into deep wounds that I know were not from this time and space,but were more of a soul nature. Luckily for me I knew that this emotional pit of darkness and despair that I thought was in relation to my dear departed mother,was in fact something far deeper.
I realised today that our human stories are the driving force and invitations into far richer and diverse experiences that we can have with the divine and our souls will orchestrate anything to get our undivided attention to achieve this goal of union,which can only take place through the transformation of our human wounds.
So forgive your parents for all their failings…even if they were at your expense.
They are human beings doing the best they can with the little knowledge they are given, to be your guardian,guide and care giver.And you as an adult are free to change anything you want anytime you choose and the sooner you realise this,then the sooner you are eternally free!
To learn more about my personal insights you can purchase my latest book Invisible Grace
In Loving Service
Jennifer Starlight ©